writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
