dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
