I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
