How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
