How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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