dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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