I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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