Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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