Just cropdusted the office
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize