well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
