And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
