let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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