if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
