plz talk dirty to me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
