i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
