whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
