Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
