I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
