I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Four minutes until I can fart!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
