We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
