adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
