Barsexuality is the new black.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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