White coat. Heels.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
