yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
