Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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