Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
