hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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