like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
