Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
