wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
