the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
