So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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