): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
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Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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