allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
