By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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