Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
