Cold hands, warm shart.
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You were trust falling into bushes
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
