If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
