May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
