there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
