My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
