who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
