i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
