think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The Olympian is in my bed
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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