Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
