I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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