all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm always down for nudity.
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