Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm always down for nudity.
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