Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
