I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
