i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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