Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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