i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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