WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
high people should be assigned attendants
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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