I just cut my nipple shaving
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
NoShamevember. You game?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
