Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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