She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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