My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
