I CAN MOONWALK!
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
