Plan B is the new Plan A
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
