I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
