i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
NoShamevember. You game?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
is that a dick in a sweater?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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