would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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